May 4, 2008
Where did March and April go? I cannot recall waking up on Easter morning to colored eggs and family dinner. I do not remember any plastic eggs hid outside for the kids to find. I do not remember the gentle change from winter to spring. Did I miss the thunderstorms hiding under a blanket? Did I miss the tulips sprouting up and bending toward the sun?
Today, I am looking at the landscape and I see trees covered with lush green leaves. I see honeysuckle hanging over the fence as a gentle warm breeze brings the scent occasionally to my nose. The sky is a beautiful dark blue and the sunlight is shining so brightly on the treetops. Birds are chirping their familiar tunes. Kids are playing somewhere in the neighborhood, laughing and calling to each other. I hear the comforting sounds of my home, the train in the distance and a dog barking, perhaps at a rabbit or squirrel. A screen door shutting as a child is called home. Occasionally a car drives past the end of our street. So why do I not feel like I am home? Why do I feel like I am not moving in time?
My best friend in the whole world has been sick now the last couple months. She is lying on a hospital bed in the room behind me. The bed that has replaced her old comfy couch in her favorite place in her small living room.
She has just got home from being in the ICU unit for over 30 days. You see, my best friend, my mom, is dying. Or, is it me that is dying?
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