May 8th, 2008
Last night was a long night. My mom was not having a good night. I was up all night. She cried, “Oh my God, God, God!” I moved the couch next to her bed and rubbed her hair and held her hand all night. I am trying to give her pain medicine but she doesn’t want to open her mouth. I want to beg God to be easy on her, let her have the peace she deserves.
I stayed home from school.
Two women came to give her a bath. Her oxygen was so low, in the 60’s, and we were scared. I told them no bath; we would take care of it. They said we should call the doctor. Why.
The nurse came; she said that Mome is “actively dying.” I had never heard that before. She thought that Mome would only live a few more hours. She talked about calling 911. We said no more resuscitation, so we would not call 911. That made me “officially” feel like I have given up. At least on getting her well. I will never “give up” on my mom. She will go to heaven and still be my mom. She will always be with me. I will never let her go.
We cleaned her up and Amy had a pretty gown with purple that we put on Mome. It looked like a gown for a living woman, not a dying one. Amy again gives hope. My mom looked like a woman in her own home, in her own gown. That made me feel better.
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