Thanksgiving 2008

Since I was a little girl I have loved Thanksgiving. A holiday rooted in the gathering of family and friends with the one purpose of being together to celebrate and give thanks for all that we are and all that we have. The beauty of food, family, and the season were all the embellishments that were necessary for a happy gathering.

My mind seemed to quiz me, “Do you remember Thanksgiving just one year ago?” ... As we sat down to gorge ourselves on turkey, stuffing, yams, cranberries, mashed potatoes, green beans, dinner rolls and a multitude of pies and cakes… my mom was here, smiling.

Fast-forward one year.

Today is Thanksgiving, 2008. I have tried to recreate that same warm feeling of good smells and simplicity at my table that we have found in years past. Yet, the emptiness I felt was overwhelming.

This Thanksgiving marked the first significant holiday since the passing of my mom in May.

I glanced at the seat at the end of the table, the one where my mom would sit (not only on Thanksgiving) but the “place” assigned to her as our family member. Again, I felt the loss that she would not be there. Not today. Not ever again.

As I sat alone at the table, next to her chair, I laid my head on the table as my mind filled with past memories… The incredibly delicious fragrance of the roasting turkeys, listening to Perry Como’s recording of “There’s no place like home for the holidays,” helping set the table to include seating for all the family. The Thanksgiving outings to my sister’s house in the country. How my mom loved to play Trivial Pursuit as we digested our food.

For a moment or two, I felt as if my mom were still sitting at the table with me. She insisting that we must have cranberries and yams this Thanksgiving. To get a plate ready for my brother, Danny. How I had to acknowledge my blessings. To be thankful. And, as if she spoke one last thought to me –the memories of Thanksgivings past should be cherished but allow the ones of the future to be gladly anticipated. And to remember, that she was not far from us, smiling.

It was now time for dinner to be served. By the way, we did have cranberries and yams. I had a plate ready for Danny. And, I am thankful for this holiday where my family still gathers.

Happy Thanksgiving.